Hobbies
“What do you do in your free time?”
This question always amuses me on medical residency interviews.
“Well, after waking up at 4am, I spend 14+ hours in the windowless rooms of the hospital training my bladder to accommodate a liter plus of urine. Many times I’ve had the pleasure of working through nights, weekends, and holidays. In my free time, I enjoy sleeping, having sex, and getting white girl wasted.” These are of course dependent on my level of consciousness. I have fallen asleep more times than I’d like to admit in the middle of the latter two.
Instead, what I am expected to answer is something that would require the time and energy commitment of 3 full time jobs, or you know, of one resident. Here is a list of potential answers I would love to give.
“I counted to infinity twice. I invented yoga. I developed the scientific method. I am a professional thumb wrestler. I tame great white sharks. I slept with the entire football team of my alma mater. I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. I went over Niagra Falls in a cardboard box. I live with a pod of killer whales. I zombie proofed my house for the impending apocalypse. I speak braille. I calculated the last digit of pi. And at any given time, I can tell you exactly where Carmen Sandiego is. Somehow, despite all of my amazing feats, the one thing I failed to figure out is how to finagle my way out of this god awful interview and still obtain a residency.”
Some days I don’t even have the ATP reserves to shower, let alone draft the next great American novel or win a Nobel prize. Most my daily effort is spent trying not to slip into a coma in the middle of grand rounds, feigning interest my attending’s family vacation to Yosemite, and not molesting my James Dean-look-a-like chief resident. I live in a world where Febreze replaces washing clothes and am intimately aware that it is not delivery, it’s Digiorno.
Don’t get me wrong, I used to be very interesting. Overall, 99% of the people in my matriculating medical school class were dynamic, funny, and interesting individuals before they took the plunge into this professional apprenticeship. Somewhere along the way, most likely during anatomy, something changes in you. You transform from a vibrant, energetic, motivated, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed naïve fawn into a stressed, caffeine injecting mouse during a Pavlovian study about to be shocked post bell ringing. The trick is to remember those times are fleeting, and not to lose the most important thing in the process. No, not that goal of being that great healer you once dreamed of, but your own happiness.
A great follow-up question I have gotten is “Tell me something that is not on your resume.”
To which I honestly want to answer, “I’ve already given you all I got.”
